President of Poplar Lane Read online

  16

  Clover

  “Remember your promise, Clover!” Mom yelled on the way out.

  “What promise?” Rachel asked as we left the house.

  I sighed. “My parents made me promise not to get in trouble today,” I said. “Violet heard about the farting sounds from Betsy and ratted me out. I tried to tell them the video just got messed up because of my subliminal messages. That didn’t really help, though.”

  Peter was walking backward in front of me, trying to put makeup on my face on our way to school.

  “Why did you put farts in your video?” Peter asked.

  “Boys like farts, right?” I said.

  Peter shrugged. “I find them unprofessional.”

  “Oh,” I said. I felt kind of embarrassed. I’d assumed all boys thought farts were funny. But I guess all boys were different, just like all girls weren’t the same, either.

  When we got to school, Rachel pushed the front door open. “Why is it so quiet?” she asked.

  Everyone in the lobby was crowded by the wall.

  Mel Chang spotted us. She came over, holding up her phone like a recorder.

  “Did you do it?” she asked me.

  “Do what?” I said.

  We walked to the wall where all the kids were clumped together.

  I gasped when I saw what they were looking at.

  Dr. Dana walked out of her office and straight over to me. “Clover O’Reilly, in my office,” she said. “Now.”

  I groaned. Not again.

  What’s New with

  Mel Chang

  If It Trends, We’re Friends.

  THURSDAY

  POSTER GATE!

  Someone vandalized Mike’s posters AND put up a new one. This poster perp means biz. Mean biz.

  Witnesses reported red Xs through all the old posters. The new poster says: THE TRUTH ABOUT MIKE . . . THE UNUSUAL.

  It makes totes damaging claims, some with photo evidence:

  Mike does magic . . . and his only fans are in elem school.

  Mike does puzzles.

  Mike likes rom-coms.

  Mike hates root beer. He drinks tea with his grandma.

  Mike kisses baby dolls from Family and Consumer Services.

  Mike doesn’t have friends his own age, just acquaints.

  Mike always does his homework.

  Mike doesn’t watch sports. He thought the Poplar Pigeons lived on a farm.

  Mike has never seen his dad’s show.

  Mike’s camp totes denies everything. “It’s a smear campaign,” said Mike’s camp manager, Amelia Flem, prob re: the ink smeared all over the posters.

  Who would do something so awf? If you have any info, please contact the Poplar Middle Crimesolvers.

  17

  Clover

  Dr. Dana held up the THE TRUTH ABOUT MIKE . . . THE UNUSUAL poster.

  “Let’s talk,” she said. “You’re already on two strikes, Clover.”

  Rachel, Peter, and I sat on one side of her. Scott, Mike, and Amelia sat on the other.

  “First of all, rom-coms are adorable,” I said. “Why would that even be a bad thing? Obviously I didn’t do it!”

  “Of course you did!” Scott said. “It’s sabotage! Who else would do this?”

  “Peter would!” Amelia said. “He switched sides.”

  “That was business!” he said, glancing at Mike. “Not personal.”

  “I have no idea what happened,” I told Dr. Dana. “I was semi-grounded last night. Plus, I would never do something so mean. Plus plus, that poster is totally not my artistic style. It’s really sloppy, no offense to whoever made it.”

  “You scoff at the Integrity Contract!” said Scott. “And you make weird farting movies! Why should we believe you?”

  Amelia looked furious. Her lips were pressed together so tight they almost disappeared.

  “Rachel?” Dr. Dana said.

  “She does have a vengeful side,” Peter pointed out.

  Rachel glared. “Hey! We’re on the same team, Peter. And no, I didn’t do it. I was at Amelia’s house.”

  “You were?” I said.

  She nodded.

  “Oh,” I said. Somehow that made everything worse.

  “Peter?” Dr. Dana pressed.

  “I spent last night watching makeup tutorials,” he said. “I needed tips on doing makeup for girls. Plus, I’m Mike’s mentor. At least I was. A mentor doesn’t undermine a mentee.”

  “We’ll have to work together to figure out who did this,” Dr. Dana said. She looked at all of us but stared at me for a particularly long time.

  “I’m keeping an eye on you,” Scott said as we all stood up to leave. Then everyone on Mike’s team except Mike glared at me.

  Back in the hallway, everyone was staring at me and whispering. For the first time in my whole life, I didn’t want to be at school.

  “They think I did it,” I said.

  “No, some people think Peter did it,” Rachel said helpfully.

  Peter sniffed. “Is that how you treat a new team member?”

  “But seriously,” Rachel said. “Who would do this?”

  “It could be anyone,” Peter said.

  We looked uneasily around the hall. Whoever it was, it was someone who wanted to hurt Mike. That was for sure.

  I had to do something to clear my name.

  FROM

  WARTY MORTY’S TREATISE ON MAGIC

  Copyright 1973

  F Is for “Forcing a Card”

  “Forcing a card” ain’t some pushy fella shoving a queen of spades in your face.

  Forcing a card is when you ask the spectator to choose a card, but you force them to pick one you already selected—and they think they picked it themselves. Far out, right?

  A force is a way to control a spectator’s choice, whether they’re choosing a card, number, word, or letter. The magician who “forces” puts an idea into someone’s head—no surgery required.

  So how do you force a choice?

  Rush your spectator into a decision.

  Use subtle physical contact to guide them.

  Flash the “target card” on the bottom of the pack during a trick, then move the card to the top of the pack.

  Now here’s an example of forcing a word. Let’s say you include the words “head” and “ache” in your patter. So later when you read Johnny Audience’s mind and try to guess the word he’s thinking, there’s a good chance he’ll pick “headache.” (Give the poor guy some aspirin, will ya?)

  18

  MIKE

  We stood outside Dr. Dana’s office after the meeting. There were just a few minutes left before homeroom.

  I got lots of pats on the back. People kept telling me what a great guy I was and not to let it bother me. Some even said they’d definitely vote for me now.

  If I had any idea Clover or Peter or Rachel would get blamed for what I did, I would never have done it. I didn’t think that far ahead. I just wanted to tell the truth about myself. Clover’s team didn’t deserve this, not at all.

  “I understand if you want to take away my badge,” Scott said, looking me in the eye. “I let you down, man. And I’ve let down the service.”

  Amelia bit her lip. “I can’t stop landing on the same question,” she said. “Who would do this? It had to be Clover. Or Peter. But it doesn’t really look like a professional job. Rachel was with me last night. Do you have any enemies, Mike?”

  “None,” I said. Just myself, I didn’t say. “But it wasn’t Clover. I mean, I don’t think it could be. No way.”

  “Whoever it was, they said some pretty terrible things about you, man,” Scott said. “It had to be a real enemy.”

 
; It made my stomach hurt that Scott would think the true things I said about myself were so terrible. Nothing I said was a lie. It was just the truth about me.

  “Then who was it?” Amelia asked.

  “I bet it was your girlfriend,” Scott said. “Are you guys having problems, Mike? Is she jealous of your meteoric rise to fame?”

  “Mike’s girlfriend isn’t real,” Amelia reminded him.

  “Maybe the leak came from inside the campaign,” Scott said. “No one can be trusted.”

  The bell rang, cutting through awkward silence.

  “What’s our next move?” Scott asked. “What about Peter’s opposition research file on Clover? You know, all the bad stuff about her. Do you still have it?”

  Amelia nodded. “I know we’ll look weak if we don’t do something. But I don’t want to be negative about Clover if we don’t have to. We’re not sure she did anything. That’s not the kind of leader you want to be. Right, Mike?”

  I shook my head.

  “Okay then,” said Scott. “In the meantime, I’ll keep my eyes on Mike around the clock. And on Clover, too. I’m not sure how I’ll do that with only two eyes, but I’ll figure it out. Maybe I’ll tap her phone.”

  “How do you tap a phone?” I asked.

  “Gently,” Scott said.

  My heart thudded. I had to do something to clear Clover’s name.

  What’s New with

  Mel Chang

  If It Trends, We’re Friends.

  ANOTHER THURSDAY POST!

  EVEN MORE BREAKING, SHATTERED NEWS! ARE YOU SERIOUS, MEL?!

  Yep.

  In response to the SCANDALOUS poster THE TRUTH ABOUT MIKE . . . THE UNUSUAL, an ANON SOURCE has sent me a text titled THE TRUTH ABOUT CLOVER . . . O’REILLY.

  THE SCOOP:

  Clover is brave—she isn’t afraid to say what she thinks.

  Clover smells like pickles (that’s good).

  Clover is generous—she shares ideas and art supplies.

  Clover would be a great leader.

  Is Clover’s team trying to plant positive stories in the press to save face? You decide.

  Clover is holding a press conference TODAY, AFTER SCHOOL, BY THE TREE STUMP (THE CROOKED ONE BY THE FLAGPOLE) to address the scandal.

  In the interest of fair journalism, I’m printing the following student theory re: who destroyed Mike’s posters. I think you’ll agree it’s ridic:

  “It was Mike. He did it himself.” —Holly Herman, seventh grade

  Others worried about how the election might be affecting a Poplar Middle VIP.

  “Mel,” said Katie Lepore, eighth grade, “take a long, hard look at yourself. It’s a seventh-grade election. Seventh grade. You’re an eighth grader now. Do something else. Adopt a pet. Paint your nails.”

  PLUS! Mel Chang’s EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW with “Mikayla,” who claims to be Mike’s mystery girlfriend. “Relationships are hard,” says Mikayla. “They’re even harder when you’re dating the future president.”

  19

  Clover

  The crowd around the tree stump was buzzing before my press conference.

  “Where’s Peter?” I asked.

  “Running late,” Rachel said, reading a text on her phone. “He’s picking up plants from Poplar Elementary.”

  “Plants?” I asked. “This is no time to run errands! And anyway, the press conference is outside. We don’t need any.”

  Rachel squinted at something barreling down the sidewalk. “There he is.”

  Peter was pulling a wagon carrying his brother Daniel, Susie Lorenzo, and Gabby Jonas.

  When he got to us, he patted his forehead with a white handkerchief that had his initials on it.

  “Apologies for the delay,” Peter said. “I had to pick up the street team.”

  “Where are the plants?” I asked.

  “Here,” he said, gesturing to the kids in the wagon. “Plants sit in the audience and ask questions to make you look good.”

  “Why do Susie and Gabby look like melted clowns?” Rachel asked.

  Peter shook his head. “I let them do each other’s makeup on the way over,” he said. “The ride got bumpy. Professional error on my part.”

  Daniel hopped out of the wagon and did a jig. He was wearing a leprechaun costume. “I’m not a plant,” he said. “I’m a four-leaf clover!”

  “It was Career Day at school,” Peter said, like that explained anything. “I’ll set them up in the audience. And don’t worry, they know what to say.”

  Rachel stood on top of the tree stump and cleared her throat. “Thank you all for coming out to today’s press conference,” she said. “Clover will take respectful questions from the audience. Clover?”

  I took the stage—um, stump. “Thanks for coming out to hear my side of the story,” I said. “I didn’t mess up Mike’s posters. Period.”

  Some people in the audience snickered.

  “But I totally want to help Mike figure out who did it,” I said. “Oh, and I’d like to know who glued pickle chips to my posters. That was really mean. Thank you.”

  Rachel scanned the crowd and pointed. “First question goes to . . . Mel Chang.”

  Mel stood up. She always goes first.

  “For the rec, did you destroy Mike’s posters and make the new, really bad one?” Mel asked.

  “As I said, absolutely not.”

  “Then who did it?” she asked.

  Rachel stood up. “Clover doesn’t want to accuse anybody,” she said. “We’re just trying to get the facts.”

  “Can you describe your relash with known troublemaker Thalia Jung?” Mel pressed.

  “Relash?”

  “Relationship!” Peter called from the crowd.

  “Uh, I know her?” I said.

  The crowd murmured.

  “Can you also confirm the info revealed in THE TRUTH ABOUT CLOVER . . . O’REILLY?” Mel asked.

  “What info?”

  “The info describes you as generous. Says you smell good. That you’d be a great leader.”

  “Wow!” I said. “Yeah, smelling good is extremely important to me. I take a lot of showers. The rest is true, too!”

  Seema Singh raised her hand. She wasn’t wearing her rubber band bracelets. “So you agree with what the person said?” she asked.

  I shrugged. “Sure.”

  “Does that make you conceited?” Seema asked.

  “I don’t think so,” I said.

  The crowd murmured louder.

  Daniel raised his hand. He was sitting on a stack of books. I nodded.

  “Do you have fruit snacks?” he asked.

  “No?” I said.

  Peter whispered something in Daniel’s ear.

  “Is it true you want girl power?” Daniel asked.

  “Yes!” I said. “Thank you for your great question.”

  “No fair! I want girl power, too,” Daniel said. “Now!” He threw himself on the ground and started wailing.

  Peter whisked Daniel out of the audience, placing him back in the wagon with a packet of fruit snacks.

  “Moving on,” said Rachel. “Seamus?”

  “What’s your position on homework reform?” he asked me. “Are you going to get rid of it like Mike?”

  “I don’t like homework,” I said. “But I don’t think teachers are going to just get rid of it. That doesn’t make sense.”

  “Disappointing,” said Seamus, yawning. “And now, a follow-up question. Do you know Stu the Sports Dude?”

  “Mike’s dad?” I asked. “He’s my neighbor.”

  “Can you get me tickets to see a live taping of a Stu the Sports Dude show?” Seamus asked.

  “Probably . . . not?” I said.

  The au
dience buzzed. Seamus clucked his tongue and shook his head.

  Gabby Jonas raised her hand.

  “Watch this move,” she said. She got a running start and did a roundhouse kick in the air.

  “Huh?”

  Peter steered Gabby out of the press conference and set her beside Daniel in the wagon.

  Mel raised her hand again.

  “Breaking news,” she said. “I just received a list of claims against you from an anon source. Can you confirm or deny?”

  She started reading before I could say anything. “You don’t always wash your hands after you go to the bathroom,” she said. “You pull belly button lint out of your stomach and smell it. You eat ketchup with a spoon. You bite your toenails.” She looked at Rachel. “Should I go on?”

  “Clover denies all these claims,” Rachel said.

  “Well, not all of them,” I said.

  “It also says you think boys are annoying,” Mel said.

  “Hey!” said Brayden Monk.

  “That’s so uncool it’s burning hot,” said Big TOE.

  “Not all boys,” I said.

  “But some!” said Alan Firenza.

  The crowd got louder.

  Susie raised her hand.

  I nodded, hoping her planned question would save me.

  “Do you think my makeup is designive?” Susie asked.

  “It’s kind of . . . smeared,” I said.

  “I’ll fix it!” Gabby yelled, waving makeup brushes from the wagon. Peter stood in her path so she couldn’t get out.

  “Oh! What’s your plan for increasing student involvement in the political process?” Susie asked.

  Peter looked shocked. Rachel beamed.

  “When I’m president, I want everyone to have a say in their government!” I said. “Great question!”

  “I have another great question!” said Susie. “Is your mom having a baby?”

  I gasped. “What? Who told you that?”

  Susie shrugged. “Not telling.”